James' worst fear
by Procrastinator-starting2moro
Summary: What exactly is James' worst fear? A Boggart reveals. JamesLily. One shot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

James' worst fear

Never had the DADA professor seen anything like it his whole two years of his lengthy career. Of course, the job is cursed and he's planning to retire at the end of the year, and that's only if he isn't murdered beforehand. But under no circumstances had he seen a student's Boggart transform into an actual person, a _dead body. _Students at such a young age didn't usually summon such gruesome images of their loved ones dying. They tended to have petty fears of creatures like spiders, snakes, or in Sirius Black's case - clowns.

"I told you, those Muggle things are scary!" insisted Sirius, joining the rest of the Marauders who were queuing to go up against the Boggart, just after he'd performed the Riddikulus spell himself. He shuddered and Remus Lupin patted him comfortingly on the back.

"I'll remember never to invite you to a circus," Remus noted.

"Next!" The professor yelled, and the queue bustled along.

Lily Evans cursed as one of her friends gave her a light shove to move along the queue, making her stumble into James Potter. He flashed her a grin in response, thinking Lily had deliberately tried to get in contact with him. She didn't return the smile and merely whipped round to glare at her friend. "Stop it!" Lily hissed at her.

"I wonder what your Boggart will be, Lily," her friend pondered. "Maybe it'll be Potter!" she laughed.

Lily rolled her eyes. "The Boggart takes on the form of its intended victim's worst fear, not the victim's most _annoying_ _person_."

She instantly regretted the comment as James glanced back at her with a hurt expression.

"Go in front of me, James," Remus insisted, gesturing him to take his place.

James tried to disguise the frown on his face from Lily's remark and faced Remus with a curious expression. "Why?" he asked.

The light haired boy stared looked down at his shoes. "Because you know what the Boggart will turn into if I go up…" he trailed off.

James instantly knew what he was talking about, the image of the glistening full moon filling his head. Smiling sympathetically at him, he swapped places with Remus and told him to sneak to the back of the queue when the professor wasn't looking.

"Next!"

Peter Pettigrew returned to his friends looking pale. He shook his head, as though shaking the Boggart's terrifying image out of his mind.

"What did you get, Wormtail?" questioned Sirius.

Turning red, Peter mumbled, "Filch's cat."

The boys laughed but gave him understandable nods knowing Peter's immense fear of felines, especially when he was most vulnerable in his Animagus form. He'd barely escaped Mrs. Norris on a number of occasions.

"Next!"

James stepped forward, shoulders proud and chin titled up high. If he was scared of what was to come, he didn't show it.

"I'm afraid you might be disappointed, professor," James started arrogantly, "I'm not afraid of anything." His friends chortled humorously, while Lily crossed her arms, unimpressed.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Mr. Potter." The professor smiled at him; he was used to James showing off. "Everyone fears something," he said with an air of mystery. "Wand at the ready, please."

James raised his wand from his side and pointed it out on front of him, straight and confidently. The professor arched an eyebrow, asking him if he was prepared. James nodded. Seconds later, the wardrobe door whipped open and the Boggart escaped from within. Patiently, James watched the Boggart shape-shift, twisting and turning until it finally conjured up a final form.

He felt his throat tighten, along the rest of the class who gasped in sync, some even screaming. He didn't know what to expect, but he hadn't expected this. Anything but this.

"R... R-r..."

James couldn't find his voice, and his wand arm fell to his side.

She was just lying there, strands of her long red hair sticking to the tears, sweat and blood on her face. Her eyes were open, but you could tell she wasn't of the living. She lay there so limp and lifeless, her hand shaped as though she was clutching at something, yet nothing was in her palm. Maybe she had been clutching for life...

"R-ridikkulus!" James pointed with his shaking wand arm, but he couldn't stop his voice from trembling.

The Boggart remained.

Her dead body remained.

_This is my fear_? James thought in horror. _My fear is Lily dying?_

He watched the real Lily step forward, her hands covering her gaping mouth - one could only imagine seeing yourself dead was disturbing. She looked back and forth between the illusion of her dead body and James, pale and frightened. In the tense silence of the classroom, the professor - who was just as white as Lily - also came forward, wondering what to do.

Seeing the real Lily seemed to awaken James from his trance and he shook himself of the unsettling image the Boggart had created. Thrusting his wand arm forward, he yelled a steady, "_RIDDIKULUS!_"

Lily's body disappeared at once. All that was left on the ground was the worn tiles of the empty classroom.

Head bowed, still shaking, James dropped his wand to the floor, completely overwhelmed. He thrust his way through the crowd of his classmates, feeling everyone's eyes on him and wanting nothing more than to be alone. He ignored the shout of "Prongs!" from Sirius and ran from the classroom, not looking back.

Minutes later, he stopped to rest in an empty corridor to catch his breath. He stared long and hard at a wall. _What exactly happened back there? _His mind reeled. He blinked and shook his head as more images of the Boggart crowded his brain.

"Potter!"

He heard the sound of incoming footsteps echo down the corridor and he looked up inquisitively, surprised to see Lily had followed him.

"What were you thinking just running out in the middle of class like that?" she asked crossly like a true Prefect. In softer tones, she said, "Here, your wand. You dropped it earlier."

James reached out and grasped his wand in Lily's hand, thinking she'd let it go the second he touched it. Instead, she didn't let go, as if she didn't want to break connection between them. She was wearing a quite pitying expression. James hated that look - he wasn't weak.

"You can let go of the wand now," he told her. She eventually did what she was told.

"What exactly was that back there, Potter?" she asked quietly.

"You saw what happened."

"I know I _saw_ what happened, I just don't understand _why_."

"Well, isn't it obvious?"

A confused look from Lily answered the question that it wasn't as clear to her. "I mean, that Boggart-"

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of everyone," James cut her off suddenly.

Lily almost laughed. "I don't think embarrassment ever occurred to me. I was more... _shocked_, to say the least. Seeing me like _that, _I mean…" She paused, trying to find the right words. "A Boggart becoming something like _that_ - well, that person must care a lot for that other individual. Maybe even to the point of... the point of _love_."

"Of course," James agreed in the end. Lily's mouth dropped open.

"I know you've always had a crush on me," she said, blushing. "But what happened back there, with that Boggart-"

"It obviously shows you mean more to me than just a little crush."

Lily fiddled with the sleeves of her robes. "And when did you realise that?" she asked, not quite able to meet his gaze.

"Seeing you… like _that_," he told the truth.

"But... how can you be that afraid of me getting hurt? Of…_ dying_," she said uncomfortably.

James shrugged his slumped shoulders. "It's dark times. Evil wizards. Murders every day…"

Lily reached out to touch his arm. "Potter, I…" She was suddenly aware of how close they were standing and how easy it was for him to turn his head and kiss her. She had to admit that she was tempted to just let him do it; she could already feel his tingling warm breath against her cheek. "If you're going to ask to kiss me, I'm probably going to decline."

"Probably?" repeated James.

"Did I say probably? I meant definitely."

Nonetheless, James leant forward to brush his lips with hers, but the image of the Boggart – of Lily's mangled dead body - flashed through his mind. He could picture her dull green eyes. Seeing those same eyes on Lily now - but brighter, more _alive_ - made James jump back and hit the wall behind him. Lily looked hurt at his actions. Had he changed her mind about her after all?

"Sorry," he apologized in a whisper. "That Boggart... it's haunting my mind."

Lily smiled sadly and moved towards James. He watched as she rose on her tiptoes to give him a slow and soft kiss on the cheek. Though it lasted barely a second, it felt like a lifetime to him, and not once did his Boggart enter his mind.

"Change your Boggart, James."

"Hmm?" he mumbled dazedly.

"Change your Boggart," Lily told him more determinedly. "Because I'm not going anywhere. Not if-"

"I can help it," James finished her sentence.

Later that year, when James asked the professor to be faced once more with the Boggart, the creature manifested into the image of a Dementor. After all, there was nothing to fear except fear itself.


End file.
